batter-sempai:

ryanccole:

monasticmaestoso:

portalgifs:

NO BUT YOU ALL NEED TO UNDERSTAND HOW FUNNY THIS IS THEYRE LITERALLY FILLING A ROBOT WITH BULLETS, LIKE BULLETS THAT YOU FIRE FROM A GUN. NOW NORMALLY FIRING A GUN TRIGGERS THE BULLET TO EXPLODE CREATING A PRESSURE THAT CAUSES THE TIP OF THE BULLET TO BE FORCED OUT OF THE BARREL AT A HIGH SPEED. 

WHaT CAVE JOHNSON’S TURRET’S DO IS LOAD A TON OF FUCKING BULLETS INTO THE CASE OF THE SENTRY LIKE IT”S A GODDAMN GUMBALL MACHINE AND THEN USE A FUcKIN SPRING LOADED PISTON TO FIRE IT THAT IS SO UNNECESSARY AND INEFFECTIVE LIKE NO WONDER CHELL CAN RESIST SO MANY BULLETS THE LIKELIHOOD ITD CAUSE ANYTHING MORE THAN A BAD BRUISE IS LIKE ONE IN A HUNDRED

but it’s 65% more bullet per bullet

Wait a second are you telling me

that Portal is such a perfect goddamn game that they even have an explanation for why a video game protagonist can withstand being shot multiple times??????????

They have explanations for almost everything. Like how the protag doesn’t have fall damage. Portal’s cool like that.

(Source: bustedbitmap)

yungterra:

yungterra:

look at this fucking opossum

image

image

dybbuks:

this vacuum review is incredible

dybbuks:

this vacuum review is incredible

(Source: transnormativity)

(Source: sourhex)

tongue-toyed:

i never really liked

my name

much

until i found out

what it tastes like

when you write it in frosting

on top of a cake

(Source: your-scallywag)

professorfangirl:

prokopetz:

This is the one time of year that I love wasps.
Not because the wasps themselves get any nicer. They’re horrid little creatures year round. No, it’s because I have a couple of big apple trees out back, and late August, early September is when the apples start ripening.
Now, if you don’t harvest your own fruit, there are two things you need to know about apples.
The first thing you need to know about apples is that, when apples get ripe, they tend to fall from the tree at the slightest breeze.
I often work late at the office; by the time I get home, there are piles of apples scattered everywhere - and sure enough, the wasps are out in force, gorging themselves on the fruit. When I go to clean up the windfallen apples, the wasps naturally do the “rawr, I’ma fuck you up!” routine for which wasps are known.
The second thing you need to know about apples is that they ferment very rapidly in the late August heat.
So: the wasps try to come at me, but they’re too drunk to fly. They get about an inch off the ground, then faceplant directly into the turf, flip over onto their backs, and lay there, legs twitching in the air as they try in vain to find something to sting.
Perhaps I’m a man of simple pleasures, but I bust up laughing every. single. time.
Fucking wasps.

I tried to reblog this with a witty tag, but Tumblr took it as serious advice:

professorfangirl:

prokopetz:

This is the one time of year that I love wasps.

Not because the wasps themselves get any nicer. They’re horrid little creatures year round. No, it’s because I have a couple of big apple trees out back, and late August, early September is when the apples start ripening.

Now, if you don’t harvest your own fruit, there are two things you need to know about apples.

The first thing you need to know about apples is that, when apples get ripe, they tend to fall from the tree at the slightest breeze.

I often work late at the office; by the time I get home, there are piles of apples scattered everywhere - and sure enough, the wasps are out in force, gorging themselves on the fruit. When I go to clean up the windfallen apples, the wasps naturally do the “rawr, I’ma fuck you up!” routine for which wasps are known.

The second thing you need to know about apples is that they ferment very rapidly in the late August heat.

So: the wasps try to come at me, but they’re too drunk to fly. They get about an inch off the ground, then faceplant directly into the turf, flip over onto their backs, and lay there, legs twitching in the air as they try in vain to find something to sting.

Perhaps I’m a man of simple pleasures, but I bust up laughing every. single. time.

Fucking wasps.

I tried to reblog this with a witty tag, but Tumblr took it as serious advice:

image

servbot42:

ssb4bingo:

Still need to unlock Shadow Mario and Blue Mario


where the fuck is hotel mario

servbot42:

ssb4bingo:

Still need to unlock Shadow Mario and Blue Mario

where the fuck is hotel mario

(Source: gac007)

hohohobutmadefashion:

when two of your friends get into an argument and they both try to drag you in for support and you’re like

image

(Source: hoebutmadefashion)

mathematicalpotato:

perchu:

shslvalkyrie:

What a time to be alive.

aRE YOU KIDDING ME? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. THIS IS SHIT. THIS IS A PEICE OF SHIT. NO HUMAN SHOULD EVER HAVE THIS MUCH POWER. THIS IS FUCKING BULLSHIT. THERE WAS A SET AMOUNT OF ICING ON EACH FUCKING OREO AND THATS HOW IT SHOULD BE, GIVE US THIS MUCH POWER THE ICING WILL BE SO UNEASILY SPLIT UP THAT WE WILL HAVE LIKE 20 COOKIES LEFT AND NO FUCKING ICING LEFT. THIS IS RIDICULOUS. THIS IS THE KIND OF SHIT THAT DESTROY SOCIETY AND TOPPLES THE GOVERNMENT. THIS IS TRYING TO SPARK GREED AND LUST AND GLUTTONY INTO THE HEARTS OF EVERYONE, THIS IS FUCKING EVIL DONT BUY INTO THIS SHIT. FUCK THIS,AND  FUCK YOU MOREOS

oh my god the original moreos post

(Source: poyzn)

50shadesofpitchblack:

creepypyramid:

kaguya-14:

dropmycumberbritches:

dropmycumberbritches:


Georgian First Grader Beaten and Sexually Assaulted by Male Classmates…School Says Boys Just “Rough Housing”
Valdosta - Three first grade boys kept a female classmate outside after recess by hiding in the woods, pushing her face first into the ground. The victim, whose name is being withheld, has suffered scarring to the right side of her face from broken tree branches and rocks that she was allegedly assaulted with both physically and sexually.
The victim was able to escape the male classmates after fifteen minutes of torture, running into a fifth grade classroom and alerting a teacher of what had happened. The principle of the elementary school said he had a “man to man” talk with the boys and their parents, giving them two days of suspension. He neglected calling the local authorities claiming “it did not seem like a police matter, just simple rough housing gone a little too far”.
The parents of the victim are looking to press charges on the boys for sexual and physical assault, as well as a possible law suit against the school district. District superintendent was not available for comment. 

This is called rape culture you guys. The girl was 7 years old and they called it “rough housing” between boys.

Please boost this post! People NEED to hear about this.

THIS IS BULL SHIT ROUGH HOUSING MY ASS HOW ABOUT I ROUGH HOUSE MY FOOT RIGHT UP YOUR ASS YOU JELLY SPINED PEICE OF SHIT PRINCIPAL EAT SHIT FUCK HEAD

this was also proven to be fake a long time ago



She was attacked by a kangaroo.

50shadesofpitchblack:

creepypyramid:

kaguya-14:

dropmycumberbritches:

dropmycumberbritches:

Georgian First Grader Beaten and Sexually Assaulted by Male Classmates…School Says Boys Just “Rough Housing”

Valdosta - Three first grade boys kept a female classmate outside after recess by hiding in the woods, pushing her face first into the ground. The victim, whose name is being withheld, has suffered scarring to the right side of her face from broken tree branches and rocks that she was allegedly assaulted with both physically and sexually.

The victim was able to escape the male classmates after fifteen minutes of torture, running into a fifth grade classroom and alerting a teacher of what had happened. The principle of the elementary school said he had a “man to man” talk with the boys and their parents, giving them two days of suspension. He neglected calling the local authorities claiming “it did not seem like a police matter, just simple rough housing gone a little too far”.

The parents of the victim are looking to press charges on the boys for sexual and physical assault, as well as a possible law suit against the school district. District superintendent was not available for comment. 

This is called rape culture you guys. The girl was 7 years old and they called it “rough housing” between boys.

Please boost this post! People NEED to hear about this.

THIS IS BULL SHIT ROUGH HOUSING MY ASS HOW ABOUT I ROUGH HOUSE MY FOOT RIGHT UP YOUR ASS YOU JELLY SPINED PEICE OF SHIT PRINCIPAL EAT SHIT FUCK HEAD

this was also proven to be fake a long time ago

She was attacked by a kangaroo.

(Source: vegetableighs)